Worship 10/24/2020
Call to worship
With hearts ready to serve,
God turns our mourning into singing and our sorrows into laughter.
With hope and expectation,
God turns our weeping into celebration
and our grief into shouts of joy.
Come before the Lord with yearning,
with hearts ready to serve.
Let us turn our hearts to worship God.
Centering Prayer
O Holy One, You are God.
We come to you this morning with praise
and hope and joy.
As we meet you here,
help us to turn our burdens over to you
and to find the courage and hope of your people.
Restore us, O Lord,
and heal us with Your saving love,
for we are Your people, and You are our God.
Amen.
Psalm 121
1I lift up my eyes to the hills— from where will my help come?
2My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
3He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.
4He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand.
6The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
7The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.
8The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore
Exodus 18:10-18
9 Jethro was delighted to hear about all the good things the Lord had done for Israel in rescuing them from the hand of the Egyptians. 10 He said, “Praise be to the Lord, who rescued you from the hand of the Egyptians and of Pharaoh, and who rescued the people from the hand of the Egyptians. 11 Now I know that the Lord is greater than all other gods, for he did this to those who had treated Israel arrogantly.” 12 Then Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, brought a burnt offering and other sacrifices to God, and Aaron came with all the elders of Israel to eat a meal with Moses’ father-in-law in the presence of God.
13 The next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening. 14 When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, “What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?”
15 Moses answered him, “Because the people come to me to seek God’s will. 16 Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and instructions.”
17 Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.
Reflection
When my oldest child was born, to say that she was difficult would have been an understatement. She cried and screamed from the moment she entered the world. That screaming continued the majority of the time until she was almost 6 months old. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “O she was just a new mom, it really wasn’t that bad. She is overexaggerating.” Well I will admit that I do over exaggerate often, but trust me in this case there is no need. It really was that bad. Even my father who was a doctor thought the same thing, that I was overexaggerating her fussiness—first time mom and all. Then we spent the night with my parents and his own grandfather spoiling hand and doctor’s touch could not soothe her. The next day we were at a pediatrician’s office seeking some new advice. Even the pediatrician’s advice was to no avail (although it did help marginally). In the long run, there was nothing but time that would soothe her fussy soul. She was an extremely colicky baby and we just had to wait for her to outgrow it. Those were the longest six months of my life.
As a new momma, I really wanted to be able to handle it all on my own. That’s what mothers do—right, handle their babies? Before my precious darling came out her fussy self, I had great confidence in my abilities. After all I began babysitting in my early teens and still baby sat some even when I was pregnant with by daughter at 27—over 14 years of experience.
I had even handled fussy babies before. Bless my God daughter’s heart, she had been a hard to handle fuss bucket too. She would only stop crying for me and her own mother well into her toddler years. I handled her with the patience of Job, loving and dotting on her. So I thought I was prepared to handle anything, but this little thing that I had given birth to was different. She could scream louder than a jet engine, I kid you not. My husband used a decibel reader one time…she was LOUD! Many of the books that I turned to for help said that if things got really bad I should put the baby in the crib, shut the door so that I could not hear her crying. This would give me space to calm down and to take a breath. Well, I could put her in the crib, shut her door, walk down the hall and out the front door, shut that door and still hear her screaming! It was tough.
Yet through all of it, I was determined to do it myself, without help. Now this was partly out pride, partly out of an ego driven need to prove I could, and I am sure partially out of hormones (new mom and all). I was also a little scared for her wellbeing if I left her someone who did not love her as much as I did. Well do you know what that good old Scotch Irish determination got me, stress and more stress! Because of my experience the one piece of advice that I give new mom’s is to accept the help. Accept the food, the offers by others to hold the baby, your mother and even mother in laws offer to do the dishes or laundry, say yes… say yes anytime and every time someone offers to help to you. You are not meant to do this alone.
This is the same advice that Jethro is giving his son in law Moses in the reading. Accept the help! Jethro has seen all that Moses has done. He sees the lengths that Moses has gone to in order to care for the people of Israel, the weight that Moses has carried on his shoulders. First they celebrate all that Moses has accomplished and then Jethro shares his words of wisdom with his son in law, “the work is too heavy for you: you cannot handle it alone.” Words Moses most desperately needed to hear.
I think we have probably all been in that situation. We have all experienced a time when the tasks have grown and grown, our burdens become heavier and heavier, to the point where the weight became too heavy to carry alone. Maybe we got there because the load grew slowly and we did not notice the extent of the burden. Maybe we got to that point because the weight of the burden came on too quickly and we did not have time to figure out a support system to help us carry it. Maybe our burdens got so heavy because we could not see just how heavy they were because we were too close to the situation. But all too often we get there because we simply chose not to ask for the help we so desperately need. Too often we think that we can handle the situation alone, as if admitting that we need help means that we are somehow not enough…not smart enough, not strong enough, not dedicated enough—not enough. But God whispers sweetly to look around, see those who are your community and accept the help. You are not meant to handle your burdens alone.
It is not easy to ask for help, to share the burden or to let go of control. It is advise easily given but much harder to put into action. I am sure that heading Jethro’s advice was not easy for Moses. He had carried the lion’s share of the burden for so long. Look at all he had done, at all the lengths he had gone to lead and protect God’s people. Jethro’s advice must have taken him back a little bit.
The truth is we are not meant to handle everything alone. God did not create us to be individual units, to face the world’s burdens in isolation, to carry the weight of every task by ourselves. God created Eve to accompany Adam, to be his help mate. God gave Moses Aaron when Moses worried over his own speaking abilities. God even placed Jethro at the right time and right place to remind Moses that he did not have to handle it alone. Moses was surround by the people of Israel as he sat as judge from morning to night. Surround by people who could help. He just needed to look up and ask.
We are not made to handle the weight all by ourselves. Jesus himself had 12 disciples to walk beside him and help him carry the heavy load. He was provided with a community to help support him along away. Even Jesus needed a community to be his best self.
God did not make any of us to carry our burdens alone.
If you look back over your life, can you see times in which God placed people in your life to help you carry your burdens? Times when someone came along at the right moment to help you with some small or large task. Perhaps a co-worker sensed that you were overburdened and offered to help you finish the project in time. Your spouse saw that you were juggling way too many things at once and folds that load of laundry that has been sitting in the drier for the past four days without even being asked. Maybe your best friend popped up with supper on the Thursday night when you were just too tired to make it happen. Or the neighbor mowed your lawn for you when the grass had made it knee high because you have been working double shifts and could not find the time. Maybe a classmate gives you encouraging words at just the right time to make continuing in that class a little more bearable. Our burdens can get too heavy and learning to graciously accept help can be such a blessing and relief. God made us to be in community and to help one another in Christian love and compassion, that includes both giving and receiving help when it is needed.
Questions:
-When have you needed help but did not ask for it? How would you have benefited from the help?
I shared my help scenario in the reflection of my daughter’s first 6 months. I could have greatly benefited from accepting help. Maybe I would have been able to enjoy those months a little more and been a better mother, wife and all-around better and happier person at the time.
-What prevented you from asking for help?
Pride, ego, exhaustion. I also did not know who would be able to put up with her. It was a little bit fear that someone else would not be able to care for her fussy self as well as I would be able to. I guess that kind of goes back to ego—no one could do it as well as I could!
-When is a time when you did receive help? Did you ask for the help or was it a surprise? How did receiving the help make you feel?
My father was in the ICU in a hospital out of town for almost 2 weeks before he passed away. My husband and 2 year old at the time had come down to spend the weekend with my parents at the beginning of the ordeal. I had only packed enough clothes for the 2 days that we had planned to be at my parent’s house. A family friend asked if there was anything she could for us after the first few days of holding vigil at the hospital. My first response was no, of course. My sister and I had arranged for childcare for our kids, what else could we need?
A few days later that same friend specifically asked if she could do our laundry for us. Something made me say yes. That was something that we needed done. Something I never would have thought to ask for. In this one kind act, she took off my plate one thing. That one kindness has stayed with me the past ten years. For those two weeks I did not once worry about what me, my husband or my 2 year old daughter would wear. I did not have to find the time between trips to the hospital, dealing with all the people we had to deal with and spending time with my daughter to do laundry. Every few days we would return from the hospital to freshly folded laundry. It was blessing at the right moment. I set aside my own ego and pride and allowed the help that I didn’t even know that I needed to happen.
It wasn’t easy to accept the help that was offered to me but when I did it was a relief. It made a difficult time just a little bit easy.
-Is there anywhere in your life now where you need help? Who can you ask? What will you say to ask for the help?
In this crazy time there is so much I often need. Time away from my kids, time with other adults to recharge, time to not think about the chaos of the world around me.
My sister has been a huge help. She is in our ‘bubble’ or ‘circle of trust.’ She volunteered to keep the kids the other night and it was so nice to have time in our house without littles!
I think I will ask her if she can do that again in a couple of weeks!
Activity
Think about the week ahead.
What all lies in store?
Work? School? Zoom meetings? Meal prep? Dishes? Laundry?
What else?
Jot down the general lay out for your week on a sheet of paper.
Now, look back over your list, is there anything you left out
…add it!
Go over your list again. This time place a star next to the five things that give you the most anxiety or seem the most burdensome.
Look at those five things. Which one can someone else help you with? Which one could be made easier with the help of a friend or family member?
Commit to asking for help with this week with that task.
Now that you are committed, who will you ask?
Write down their name.
What words will you use to ask for help?
Write down those words.
Now GO DO IT!
Accept the help!
And may you find God’s blessing in so doing!
Closing Prayer
God of strength and courage,
you provide care and support for us at all times.
Give us now the strength and courage to ask for the help that we need
when the burdens are too heavy for us alone.
Help us remember that you made us to be in community with one another,
to share not only our joys but also our burdens.
Help us to set aside our own ego and pride,
giving space for your love and help to seep in through those around us.
Amen
Benediction
Go out into the world, trusting in God’s grace and resting in God’s care!
Let all God’s people say,
AMEN
