Birthday

My birthday was yesterday. I turned 41.

In my mind, I have always looked forward to my forties. I saw other women find their stride through out that decade. It seemed to be a time when women found their true selves, found their strength—their confidence in themselves. It appeared to be the decade when women stepped up to be empowered and strong. I had great hopes for what those years would bring me.

My children would be old enough to be somewhat self sufficient, my career would be stable, my marriage sound, my body old enough to know itself while young enough not ache too badly. I had high hopes for my forties. Days before my fortieth birthday however, I found myself resigning from my position at a church I had served for over 14 years. That was not how I thought my forties would look. Instead of staring at certainty, a vast unknowing lay ahead of me.

But God sometimes (always) knows best!

Let me tell you about the past year…

I have been blessed with the opportunity to spend unrestricted and almost limitless time with my kids who are growing up fast. Before I know it they will be out of the house. Soon they will be their own persons and out in the world. This past year I have had the opportunity to get to know them for who they are as they are and luckily it turns out I like them. I have been available to them through these uncertain times (if they needed me or not, I was there). I have watched them grow and change almost daily. I was able to pause along the way to enjoy seeing them grow and change into delightful young women, even if they are a little overly sarcastic!

I have been able to speak in many different churches over the past year. I have been welcomed into different congregations and been able to discover the magic within each. Finding once again the joy in congregational life and seeing how each one has it’s own special unique spark of Holy Spirit.

I have been able to help many different churches and individuals along the way. I have filled pulpits so friends could have much deserved breaks. I have been able to brainstorm with clergy and laity alike to help bring fresh air into programs and helped to bring new ideas to life across different congregations.

I have had the time and opportunity to evaluate what aspects of ‘church’ mean the most to me, those that bring me light and life. I have been able to evaluate what areas of ministry I have true passions for and I have been able to invest in those areas. I have been able to draw closer to God for the love of being with God—plain and simple.

I also have found the support of a great community and received the encouragement to begin this ministry online. Something that has brought me great joy. It has helped me to find my voice and my strength.

My hope for my forties was that I would step into myself in new ways—to find myself and walk with confidence. While God might have pushed me off a ledge to get me there, I think I am well on my way.

My fortieth trip around the sun didn’t start like I ever imagined it would but this past year has brought blessings beyond measure, courage beyond my knowing, and opportunities beyond my wildest dreams. I cannot wait to see what wonderful things God still has instore for me. Sometimes the thing that you think might crush you only makes you stronger and better then you ever thought you could be!